FIC: "Prima Nocta" 1/1 (Harry Sinclair/Karl Urban) PG

[broadwriting]

Title: "Prima Nocta"
Author: Brenda (azewewish)
Fandom: Lotrips
Pairing: Harry Sinclair/Karl Urban
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Never happened.
Summary: Harry's dreams are getting worse.
Notes: The idea, warped as it is, came from this post about Harry getting married.




Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today...


Are you sure you want to do this? Karl's voice was a slither of sex and sin, spilling along Harry's spine in a heated caress. Marriage should be sacred, not an escape.

I have to. Harry shuddered; blocked the moan. Begging never did any good. I can't keep...

Shhhh... Karl's tongue flickered as Harry's voice broke. You don't have to say anything.

I know. The sigh was vibrated out of him; Karl's fingers felt like brands on his skin. But if I don't now, I never will.

When he woke up, alone and desperate, he could still hear Karl's dark laughter in his ears.


...To witness the union between these two people...


Are you sure you want to do this, Harry? Her voice was honey-soft, concerned, as she wrapped supple arms around him. He couldn't stop shivering. I don't mind living in sin, you know.

I have to. If I don't...I'll never be free.

Her kiss brushed the corner of his mouth, smooth as silk and as cool as water; he felt like he might drown from the taste. You already know you'll never be free. No matter what.

When he woke up, alone and aching, the sheets were soaked in the stale scent of sweat and the faint flower of her perfume.


...It is, therefore, not something to be entered into lightly or unadvisedly...


Please try to understand. Harry knew the plea would fall on deaf ears; knew and did it anyway, because there was nothing left to lose. He'd damned himself a long time ago. I need this. I need peace.

I understand that you're betraying me. Betraying us.

Never. I would never... The words stuck in his throat, lodged with regret, dissonant with the jagged edges of despair. The words stuck because he knew they were true. He had to betray them to save himself. If it wasn't too late already. He couldn't go on like this.

It has to end. I'm sorry.

When Harry woke up, alone and desolate, he wanted to rage against the fates for what was to come.


...If any person can show just cause why they may not be joined together – let them speak now...


I object. Harry screamed the words internally with everything in him. The shout shook the very foundation of his soul. He couldn't stand here another moment, stand here and pretend. Pretend his soul was his own, pretend he was whole.

But he had to. He must. There was no choice.

I object. The whisper was filled with the acid bile of his own inertia. I...

I knew you would. Karl sounded sure of himself, smug in his superiority. So certain that it would come to this. So certain of Harry's answer.

Come with me. Karl held out his hand; Harry could feel the heat of it in his bones. He thought he might burn to ash from the flames.

When he woke up, alone and resolute, he knew what he had to do.

Comments

[dalehead.livejournal.com]

Powerful.

Tragic.

So sad.

Brilliant.

[azewewish.livejournal.com]

Thanks, hon!!!!!

[alexabond.livejournal.com]

In lack of anything useful I wanted to give some proper feedback as your birthday gift 'smiles'. This was great. Sad and with a desperate feel to it. It balances amazingly well between possession and love, between the freedom of love and the captivity of love. And of course the ending makes me wonder what he chooses. I think the best he could do is probably to be alone for a while and think things through.
Thanks again for posting. 'hugs'

[azewewish.livejournal.com]

Sad & desperate were definitely what I was going for, so thanks!! :) And yes, I agree, I think Harry definitely needs to sit with himself & think about things.

Glad you liked it!!

[alexabond.livejournal.com]

I love your writing so the pleasure was all mine. 'hugs'

[afra_schatz]

Interesting. I like the idea of Harry being forced by something within himself, something he might not even be able to name, to do this, and that you made very clear that neither his woman nor his man seem (at least that's what it sounds like in his dreams) to push him either way.

[azewewish.livejournal.com]

I think both of them want Harry to actually decide something for once. At least, that's my interpretation. *g*

[galor5.livejournal.com]

Poor Harry doing what he thinks is right. :(

Happy Birthday, my friend. *hugs*

[azewewish.livejournal.com]

Yeah, he's got to figure out what he wants. :)

And THANK YOU!!!! <33

[idiosyncratic.livejournal.com]

I'd say poor Harry, but...yeah, not so much. He's come across as more clueless (almost weak-willed, actually, until the end), floundering as he tries to lie to himself and convince himself that he has to get married when he knows the truth and what he wants. Nice, dark little ficlet here, baby.

[azewewish.livejournal.com]

No, dude, you've got the right way of it. He's totally weak-willed, and that's the point. He needs to make a choice.

Glad it worked!!! the_stowaway thought I was nuts. ;)

[ireth06.livejournal.com]

I don't know much about Harry, but this seems to be about right.
I't powerful and sad. He's going in eyes open , knowing the consequences, but still going ...

Thanks for sharing!

And a very happy birthday!
*hugs and kisses!*

[azewewish.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Harry's got a lot of soul-searching to do. ;)

Glad it worked, and THANK YOU!!!!!!

[caras-galadhon.livejournal.com]

Yikes! That was fascinating. I loved the intercutting dreams, and the power of fear and desire here is absolutely palpable. Gorgeous. (Also, Happy Birthday, madame! ^_^)

[azewewish.livejournal.com]

Oh, good, I'm glad that was obvious. :)

And THANK YOU!!!!

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Wow, woman, that is one angsty fic. And the ending took me completely by surprise. What a twist. Oh, the anguish. I would love to see this, somehow. As a vid!

[azewewish.livejournal.com]

Huh, that would be really interesting. *g* And thanks, I'm glad it worked!!!!

[vienna80er.livejournal.com]

This is painful and pretty sad! Poor Harry!

[azewewish.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Harry's definitely got some soul-searching to do. *g*

[january-snow.livejournal.com]

what a cool bit of darkness.

still intrigued by your comment about how your view of Harry was different from everyone elses. i imagine that you've met him, as i remember dimly that you said you'd interviewed most of the Rings principal cast at one point or another.

oh, the glamour and how lovely that you share it with us :)

[azewewish.livejournal.com]

Thanks, hon!!!

And yeah, I have. Good times, those. *g*

[sparkedbylore.livejournal.com]

I have to. If I don't...I'll never be free.
Running to or into is the same a running from and none of it works.

And her telling him he'll never be free? Sad.

I wonder why he's so desperate, want vs don't want to give up?

It's very sad and painful, but I can't help but think such is life. (I just came across an article on the marriage the other day. *snort* I'm not sure why it makes me laugh, but it does.)

Thank you.

Happy Birthday!!!

[azewewish.livejournal.com]

Oh, man, Harry's marriage made me giggle like mad. To think that someone was willing to take his craziness on... ;)


I wonder why he's so desperate, want vs don't want to give up?

Obviously, it's up for interpretation, but if you're wanting to know what I was thinking when I wrote it, I was thinking it was about him trying to break free of Karl by getting married. Horrible idea, that. *pets Harry*

And thank you for the birthday wishes!!!!