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broadwritingTitle: “The Usual Suspects” 1/1
Author: Brenda
Pairing: Karl Urban/Orlando Bloom (Viggo Mortensen/Everybody)
Rating: R (language)
Summary: Wherein there’s discussion about sex and flexibility and Viggo’s choice of bed partner.
Website: Broadwriting
Feedback: Yes, please.
Disclaimer: Never happened.
Notes: A ridiculously late birthday fic for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ladymoonray, because you still get the Karl/Orli love. *grins* Thanks to vividviggo for the original bunny. Thanks to Jen for the beta & the laugh. *g*
“Heard a million conversations
Going where they've been before
Seen the way that careful lingers
Undecided at the door”
-- The Sisters of Mercy
“Man, Viggo is up there fucking the hell out of someone,” Bean announced as he dropped into the chair next to Karl.
“Male or female?” Orlando asked.
“Male, if the grunts and groans are anything to go by,” Bean replied, shaking his head.
“Well, who is it?” Astin asked, pouring a fresh glass of lager from the pitcher.
“No clue. Didn’t stick around long enough. Pour me one, would you? And let’s get another round.”
Astin complied, and Bean tossed the entire mug back in one long swallow. “Fuck, but I needed that.”
“We could tell,” Karl smirked. He tilted his chair back on two legs and gave Orlando an impish smile. “So, you got any details or ideas?”
“Well, it’s not any one of you,” Orlando smirked, and signaled the waitress. “You guys hogging any pretzels or chips or anything?”
“Look at the bar we’re in. They look like they have pretzels?” Bean asked, laughing. “Be lucky we have alcohol.”
“Don’t get used to it,” Karl said. “Moving into dry territory once we start shooting the Black Gates tomorrow.”
“I know, reporting for duty sober and straight, Eomer King, Sir,” Orlando said, snapping a salute, and giving Karl another smirk.
“And don’t forget it,” Karl winked.
“Could be Bernard,” Astin mused.
“Hmm? Oh, yeah, could be,” Orlando replied, forehead wrinkling.
“Nah, Bernard wouldn’t fuck a co-star,” Bean argued. “He’s too into his role for that.”
“He is a professional,” Orlando agreed, pouring himself a fresh glass, and gestured to Karl. “You want another?”
“Yeah, fill me up, big boy.”
Orlando bit his lip, light flush staining his cheeks as he poured Karl’s glass. Karl tilted his head and gave Orlando a small smile, which was immediately returned.
“Marton, then,” Karl said. “He’d definitely fuck a co-star.”
Astin raised an eyebrow. “And you know this...?”
“Word travels,” Karl shrugged. “Small film community here in Zid.”
“Wouldn’t that kind of preclude him getting fucked by Viggo, then?” Orlando asked.
“Marton’s part is done. He’s not a co-star anymore, is he?” Bean said.
“Oh yeah...guess you’re right.” Orlando knocked back his second glass. He reached for the pitcher at the same time as Karl, and their hands met, lingered for a few seconds. Karl pulled away first, reluctant and slow.
“Um.” Orlando cleared his throat. “Alright. Craig, then.”
“Craig?” Sean frowned. “Didn’t pet him as the type.”
Orlando snorted. “You’re kidding, yeah?”
“Nah, it’s not him,” Karl said decisively.
“Okay, I’ll bite,” Astin said. “Why?”
Karl continued to look at Orlando, same small smile on his face. “Vig’s a big guy, yeah.”
Orlando licked his lips, eyes dropping briefly down to Karl’s crotch. “Yeah, I guess.”
“Well, Craig’s not the type to want to get folded in half and fucked until he can’t walk.”
“Well.” Sean cleared his throat. “Um...”
“No, go on,” Orlando croaked.
“Craig’s too prissy to handle raw sex,” Karl continued, eyes holding Orlando’s captive. “No way he’d let Viggo pound into him and scratch him and no way he’d let Viggo get really nasty.”
“N-nasty?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh God,” Astin muttered.
“Karl --”
Karl smiled slowly. Orlando’s breath caught, held. “I think it’s Elijah,” Karl stated, softly.
“Lij?” Orlando managed to squeak.
“He’s definitely foldable,” Karl replied, voice a dark, dangerous purr. “Imagine what Viggo could do to a flexible body like that.”
“Flexible,” Orlando repeated, pupils dilated, throat working as he tried to suck in a breath. “Yeah, imagine.”
“Thanks, but no,” Astin shuddered, and poured himself another drink.
“I think it’s Dom,” Bean said.
“Dom’s totally about the birds,” Orlando scoffed, but the words came out all rusty and croaked.
A secretive smile played on Karl’s lips. “Not always.”
Orlando’s eyes went wide. “Don’t tell me you’ve --”
“Oh yeah.” Karl leaned forward and ran a finger along Orlando’s thigh. “Had my cock in that tight ass a couple of times.”
“Oh fuck,” Orlando gulped.
“Viggo’d definitely go for him.” Karl scooted forward, until his mouth was a bare inch from Orlando’s ear. “Dom’s got a tight mouth, too,” he murmured. “Fits real nice and snug when I’m choking him.”
Bean and Astin exchanged uneasy glances. Orlando gripped Karl’s thigh and leaned in. “Y-yeah?”
“Oh yeah.” Karl’s lips touched Orlando’s ear, tongue briefly flicking over the shell. “He’s very talented. But I bet you’d be better.”
Orlando leaned his head into the contact, ran his fingers up Karl’s inseam. “Think you could handle me?”
“I think so,” Karl murmured, nuzzling Orlando’s lips with his own. “Have fun trying, at any rate.”
“You get the feeling we’ve become superfluous?” Bean asked, shrugging at Astin.
“I’m beginning to get that impression, yeah.”
“My room or yours?” Orlando breathed.
Karl groaned softly when Orlando rubbed fingers over his crotch. “Mine’s closer.”
“Let’s go.”
Bean and Astin could only watch in mute fascination as Karl tugged Orlando to his feet and they both practically dragged each other to the elevators.
“Bout time,” Astin said, finally, when he could find his voice. The elevator doors closed to the sight of Orlando’s teeth closing over Karl’s throat while Karl pulled Orlando’s hips to his in rough demand. “Wonder what Viggo would think about us using his imaginary sex life to get those two together finally?"
“Dunno.” Bean stood and clapped Astin on the shoulder in a friendly gesture. His grin was wide. “When I get done fucking him through the mattress tonight, I’ll ask him for you and let you know.”
***
Author: Brenda
Pairing: Karl Urban/Orlando Bloom (Viggo Mortensen/Everybody)
Rating: R (language)
Summary: Wherein there’s discussion about sex and flexibility and Viggo’s choice of bed partner.
Website: Broadwriting
Feedback: Yes, please.
Disclaimer: Never happened.
Notes: A ridiculously late birthday fic for
ladymoonray, because you still get the Karl/Orli love. *grins* Thanks to vividviggo for the original bunny. Thanks to Jen for the beta & the laugh. *g*“Heard a million conversations
Going where they've been before
Seen the way that careful lingers
Undecided at the door”
-- The Sisters of Mercy
“Man, Viggo is up there fucking the hell out of someone,” Bean announced as he dropped into the chair next to Karl.
“Male or female?” Orlando asked.
“Male, if the grunts and groans are anything to go by,” Bean replied, shaking his head.
“Well, who is it?” Astin asked, pouring a fresh glass of lager from the pitcher.
“No clue. Didn’t stick around long enough. Pour me one, would you? And let’s get another round.”
Astin complied, and Bean tossed the entire mug back in one long swallow. “Fuck, but I needed that.”
“We could tell,” Karl smirked. He tilted his chair back on two legs and gave Orlando an impish smile. “So, you got any details or ideas?”
“Well, it’s not any one of you,” Orlando smirked, and signaled the waitress. “You guys hogging any pretzels or chips or anything?”
“Look at the bar we’re in. They look like they have pretzels?” Bean asked, laughing. “Be lucky we have alcohol.”
“Don’t get used to it,” Karl said. “Moving into dry territory once we start shooting the Black Gates tomorrow.”
“I know, reporting for duty sober and straight, Eomer King, Sir,” Orlando said, snapping a salute, and giving Karl another smirk.
“And don’t forget it,” Karl winked.
“Could be Bernard,” Astin mused.
“Hmm? Oh, yeah, could be,” Orlando replied, forehead wrinkling.
“Nah, Bernard wouldn’t fuck a co-star,” Bean argued. “He’s too into his role for that.”
“He is a professional,” Orlando agreed, pouring himself a fresh glass, and gestured to Karl. “You want another?”
“Yeah, fill me up, big boy.”
Orlando bit his lip, light flush staining his cheeks as he poured Karl’s glass. Karl tilted his head and gave Orlando a small smile, which was immediately returned.
“Marton, then,” Karl said. “He’d definitely fuck a co-star.”
Astin raised an eyebrow. “And you know this...?”
“Word travels,” Karl shrugged. “Small film community here in Zid.”
“Wouldn’t that kind of preclude him getting fucked by Viggo, then?” Orlando asked.
“Marton’s part is done. He’s not a co-star anymore, is he?” Bean said.
“Oh yeah...guess you’re right.” Orlando knocked back his second glass. He reached for the pitcher at the same time as Karl, and their hands met, lingered for a few seconds. Karl pulled away first, reluctant and slow.
“Um.” Orlando cleared his throat. “Alright. Craig, then.”
“Craig?” Sean frowned. “Didn’t pet him as the type.”
Orlando snorted. “You’re kidding, yeah?”
“Nah, it’s not him,” Karl said decisively.
“Okay, I’ll bite,” Astin said. “Why?”
Karl continued to look at Orlando, same small smile on his face. “Vig’s a big guy, yeah.”
Orlando licked his lips, eyes dropping briefly down to Karl’s crotch. “Yeah, I guess.”
“Well, Craig’s not the type to want to get folded in half and fucked until he can’t walk.”
“Well.” Sean cleared his throat. “Um...”
“No, go on,” Orlando croaked.
“Craig’s too prissy to handle raw sex,” Karl continued, eyes holding Orlando’s captive. “No way he’d let Viggo pound into him and scratch him and no way he’d let Viggo get really nasty.”
“N-nasty?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh God,” Astin muttered.
“Karl --”
Karl smiled slowly. Orlando’s breath caught, held. “I think it’s Elijah,” Karl stated, softly.
“Lij?” Orlando managed to squeak.
“He’s definitely foldable,” Karl replied, voice a dark, dangerous purr. “Imagine what Viggo could do to a flexible body like that.”
“Flexible,” Orlando repeated, pupils dilated, throat working as he tried to suck in a breath. “Yeah, imagine.”
“Thanks, but no,” Astin shuddered, and poured himself another drink.
“I think it’s Dom,” Bean said.
“Dom’s totally about the birds,” Orlando scoffed, but the words came out all rusty and croaked.
A secretive smile played on Karl’s lips. “Not always.”
Orlando’s eyes went wide. “Don’t tell me you’ve --”
“Oh yeah.” Karl leaned forward and ran a finger along Orlando’s thigh. “Had my cock in that tight ass a couple of times.”
“Oh fuck,” Orlando gulped.
“Viggo’d definitely go for him.” Karl scooted forward, until his mouth was a bare inch from Orlando’s ear. “Dom’s got a tight mouth, too,” he murmured. “Fits real nice and snug when I’m choking him.”
Bean and Astin exchanged uneasy glances. Orlando gripped Karl’s thigh and leaned in. “Y-yeah?”
“Oh yeah.” Karl’s lips touched Orlando’s ear, tongue briefly flicking over the shell. “He’s very talented. But I bet you’d be better.”
Orlando leaned his head into the contact, ran his fingers up Karl’s inseam. “Think you could handle me?”
“I think so,” Karl murmured, nuzzling Orlando’s lips with his own. “Have fun trying, at any rate.”
“You get the feeling we’ve become superfluous?” Bean asked, shrugging at Astin.
“I’m beginning to get that impression, yeah.”
“My room or yours?” Orlando breathed.
Karl groaned softly when Orlando rubbed fingers over his crotch. “Mine’s closer.”
“Let’s go.”
Bean and Astin could only watch in mute fascination as Karl tugged Orlando to his feet and they both practically dragged each other to the elevators.
“Bout time,” Astin said, finally, when he could find his voice. The elevator doors closed to the sight of Orlando’s teeth closing over Karl’s throat while Karl pulled Orlando’s hips to his in rough demand. “Wonder what Viggo would think about us using his imaginary sex life to get those two together finally?"
“Dunno.” Bean stood and clapped Astin on the shoulder in a friendly gesture. His grin was wide. “When I get done fucking him through the mattress tonight, I’ll ask him for you and let you know.”
***
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2004-08-30 07:01 am (UTC)Superbly written as usual, was ridiculously grinning at the VigBean at the end *grins8
(no subject)
Date: 2004-08-30 09:39 am (UTC)Oh, how I adore them. I truly do. So sneaky.
Glad you liked it!!!!