![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
broadwritingTitle: "Pandora's Box" 1/1
Series: Pandora (Part One)
Pairing: Karl Urban/Orlando Bloom (Karl Urban/Harry Sinclair)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Orlando has a request.
Disclaimer: Never happened.
Notes: For the auspicious occasion of![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
eyebrowofdoom's birthday. Because you get it when others don't. *mwah*
"I want you to teach me how to fuck."
Karl spat a mouthful of coffee back into its mug - thick, bitter liquid splashing along his fingers. "You what?"
Orlando hooked a leg around his chair, straddled it backwards. "Heard you were a master at sex. Harry said..."
"Wait. Harry?" Karl sat his mug down on the metal table (self-preservation, really) and searched Orlando's face for any sign of teasing or fucking about. Open, honest eyes met his. He groaned. "Harry talked to you? About sex?"
"Yeah. Well, um," Orlando squirmed, pushing the sleeves of his jacket (some bright, multi-colored thing that looked like something his son would love) up. "This was when he filmed his scenes...y'know, during regular filming last year...I had the afternoon free? Anyway, I stayed about for a bit to watch him work, and he noticed, struck up a conversation. We got on, went out for drinks after."
"Did you?"
"Yeah. He's aces." Orlando smiled, showing Hollywood-white teeth. Kid was gonna go places with that smile, Karl thought. Hell, he was already one of the top box office draws based on those too-bright teeth alone. "Anyway, Harry was talking about you that night, how amazing you were and --"
"Stopstop, alright." Karl held up a hand. "First off, whatever Harry and I do or do not do is none of your business."
Orlando nodded eagerly, dark curls bobbing and glinting highlights off the fluorescent bulbs overhead. Thank God the food tent was mostly deserted. "I wasn't gonna say anything if that's --"
"I'm not finished."
Orlando fell silent.
"Second off, you're how old now?"
"This a trick question?"
"No. Why the fuck d'you need me to teach you about sex? Shouldn't you've learned all that before O levels?"
"I did." Orlando leaned forward. He pushed Karl's coffee cup out of the way and a little splashed on the table. Neither noticed. "But, with girls, y'know. Not guys."
"Like that, is it?" Karl stared into wide, pleading brown eyes and prayed for strength. Patience. Something. "Do I even want to know why you're after experimenting with guys?" He didn't have the courage to ask why he'd been chosen. He was certain Orlando would tell him.
"Um." Orlando shifted uncomfortably in his seat and his gaze dropped to the table. "Um, well, see..."
"Just get it out, alright? I won't tease you." Much.
"Yeah...yeah...see, there's this guy."
Karl tried hard not to laugh at Orlando's earnest expression. "I'd gathered that bit already. Go on."
"Right. Um. Well, yeah. There's this guy. Not here, I mean, he's not on this shoot."
"Comforting to know."
"But, see, I'm going to work with him again in a bit. Different film. And I --" Orlando shifted again. "Wanted to be prepared."
"This bloke interested in you?" Karl asked, fascinated by Orlando's obvious embarrassment. He couldn't imagine this shy, stammering Orlando willing to get naked with him to learn about gay sex. Couldn't imagine Orlando getting naked with anyone, the way he was acting. This certainly wasn't the frustrating, madcap Orlando he knew and loved. Not that this wasn't amusing, though.
Orlando nodded quickly and flashed Karl a wan smile. "He told me to look him up when I knew what I was doing."
"Ouch." Karl smiled in sympathy. "And that's where I come in."
"Yeah."
"Ever think he might not be worth it if he didn't want to teach you himself?"
"No." Orlando frowned, the space between his brows wrinkling. "I want him. I want to do this for him."
Karl wanted to ask this apparent sex god's name, but didn't. Sometimes, he thought, it was just best not to know the answer. "Alright," he said.
"You'll do it?" Orlando broke into another blinding grin. Karl clapped a hand over Orlando's to hold him in place.
"There are conditions."
"Right, of course." Orlando bobbed his head in affirmation. "I'll keep quiet to the other boys. Won't tell Harry or anything. I mean, that we're doing this."
"Harry's not the issue." Karl squeezed Orlando's slightly damp hand. "And we," he pointed between the two of them, "aren't doing anything. I'm not going to fuck you."
"You aren't?" Orlando frowned again. Karl wondered if he ever suffered whiplash from the constant flip-flopping of emotion. "But, how --"
"Sala is."
"What?"
"Sala is going to fuck you," Karl repeated. "I'm just going to teach the class."
"But, I'm not --"
Karl raised an eyebrow. "You're not?" No, he hadn't been that far off. There were just certain things a guy knew, no matter how much time had passed. And Sala and Orlando circling each other during regular filming had been of them.
Orlando's shoulders hunched forward. "Maybe...a bit. Back then. But, um, he's --"
"You saying you still don't find him attractive?"
"No," Orlando mumbled, flush spreading from his neck to cheeks. Rather endearing, especially with the tan.
"Then, he's perfect. You're already attracted to him and him to you. Great way to fuck it out of your systems before you dazzle this other bloke. I get to watch, get off, and give you helpful hints. And I'm not cheating on Harry."
"Yeah, but Sala won't want..."
"Oh, he definitely wants." It was Karl's turn to grin. "Trust me."
***
Series: Pandora (Part One)
Pairing: Karl Urban/Orlando Bloom (Karl Urban/Harry Sinclair)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Orlando has a request.
Disclaimer: Never happened.
Notes: For the auspicious occasion of
eyebrowofdoom's birthday. Because you get it when others don't. *mwah*"I want you to teach me how to fuck."
Karl spat a mouthful of coffee back into its mug - thick, bitter liquid splashing along his fingers. "You what?"
Orlando hooked a leg around his chair, straddled it backwards. "Heard you were a master at sex. Harry said..."
"Wait. Harry?" Karl sat his mug down on the metal table (self-preservation, really) and searched Orlando's face for any sign of teasing or fucking about. Open, honest eyes met his. He groaned. "Harry talked to you? About sex?"
"Yeah. Well, um," Orlando squirmed, pushing the sleeves of his jacket (some bright, multi-colored thing that looked like something his son would love) up. "This was when he filmed his scenes...y'know, during regular filming last year...I had the afternoon free? Anyway, I stayed about for a bit to watch him work, and he noticed, struck up a conversation. We got on, went out for drinks after."
"Did you?"
"Yeah. He's aces." Orlando smiled, showing Hollywood-white teeth. Kid was gonna go places with that smile, Karl thought. Hell, he was already one of the top box office draws based on those too-bright teeth alone. "Anyway, Harry was talking about you that night, how amazing you were and --"
"Stopstop, alright." Karl held up a hand. "First off, whatever Harry and I do or do not do is none of your business."
Orlando nodded eagerly, dark curls bobbing and glinting highlights off the fluorescent bulbs overhead. Thank God the food tent was mostly deserted. "I wasn't gonna say anything if that's --"
"I'm not finished."
Orlando fell silent.
"Second off, you're how old now?"
"This a trick question?"
"No. Why the fuck d'you need me to teach you about sex? Shouldn't you've learned all that before O levels?"
"I did." Orlando leaned forward. He pushed Karl's coffee cup out of the way and a little splashed on the table. Neither noticed. "But, with girls, y'know. Not guys."
"Like that, is it?" Karl stared into wide, pleading brown eyes and prayed for strength. Patience. Something. "Do I even want to know why you're after experimenting with guys?" He didn't have the courage to ask why he'd been chosen. He was certain Orlando would tell him.
"Um." Orlando shifted uncomfortably in his seat and his gaze dropped to the table. "Um, well, see..."
"Just get it out, alright? I won't tease you." Much.
"Yeah...yeah...see, there's this guy."
Karl tried hard not to laugh at Orlando's earnest expression. "I'd gathered that bit already. Go on."
"Right. Um. Well, yeah. There's this guy. Not here, I mean, he's not on this shoot."
"Comforting to know."
"But, see, I'm going to work with him again in a bit. Different film. And I --" Orlando shifted again. "Wanted to be prepared."
"This bloke interested in you?" Karl asked, fascinated by Orlando's obvious embarrassment. He couldn't imagine this shy, stammering Orlando willing to get naked with him to learn about gay sex. Couldn't imagine Orlando getting naked with anyone, the way he was acting. This certainly wasn't the frustrating, madcap Orlando he knew and loved. Not that this wasn't amusing, though.
Orlando nodded quickly and flashed Karl a wan smile. "He told me to look him up when I knew what I was doing."
"Ouch." Karl smiled in sympathy. "And that's where I come in."
"Yeah."
"Ever think he might not be worth it if he didn't want to teach you himself?"
"No." Orlando frowned, the space between his brows wrinkling. "I want him. I want to do this for him."
Karl wanted to ask this apparent sex god's name, but didn't. Sometimes, he thought, it was just best not to know the answer. "Alright," he said.
"You'll do it?" Orlando broke into another blinding grin. Karl clapped a hand over Orlando's to hold him in place.
"There are conditions."
"Right, of course." Orlando bobbed his head in affirmation. "I'll keep quiet to the other boys. Won't tell Harry or anything. I mean, that we're doing this."
"Harry's not the issue." Karl squeezed Orlando's slightly damp hand. "And we," he pointed between the two of them, "aren't doing anything. I'm not going to fuck you."
"You aren't?" Orlando frowned again. Karl wondered if he ever suffered whiplash from the constant flip-flopping of emotion. "But, how --"
"Sala is."
"What?"
"Sala is going to fuck you," Karl repeated. "I'm just going to teach the class."
"But, I'm not --"
Karl raised an eyebrow. "You're not?" No, he hadn't been that far off. There were just certain things a guy knew, no matter how much time had passed. And Sala and Orlando circling each other during regular filming had been of them.
Orlando's shoulders hunched forward. "Maybe...a bit. Back then. But, um, he's --"
"You saying you still don't find him attractive?"
"No," Orlando mumbled, flush spreading from his neck to cheeks. Rather endearing, especially with the tan.
"Then, he's perfect. You're already attracted to him and him to you. Great way to fuck it out of your systems before you dazzle this other bloke. I get to watch, get off, and give you helpful hints. And I'm not cheating on Harry."
"Yeah, but Sala won't want..."
"Oh, he definitely wants." It was Karl's turn to grin. "Trust me."
***
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-10 06:18 pm (UTC)"Sala is."
I would certainly be interested in sitting in on that class and I hope you plan to write it. *bats eyelashes*
(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-10 06:42 pm (UTC)Karl/Orli is fine. Karl/Harry is great. Orli/Sala? I think my brain just melted...
(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-10 06:44 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-10 06:45 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-10 06:51 pm (UTC)Thank you for the departure during the day!
((((Brenda))))
(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-10 07:15 pm (UTC)Ah, yes please. What a wonderful little surprise to a great story.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-10 08:43 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-10 08:50 pm (UTC)'Sala and Orlando circling each other' ooooooh I can so see it!
(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-10 09:01 pm (UTC)Wow. I found this story through someone on my friend's list...and...well. I love the concept of Sala fucking Orlando. XDDDD
(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-10 09:51 pm (UTC)OMG NO! Why must you constantly dangle teh h0tt in front of my face and then cruelly rip it away, woman? Why?? I'm gonna tantrum it up, now!
*tantrums*
Now that that's out of my system, thank you. Very cute and very sexy in its own right, even if I wish it was a super NC-17 94327982741 part series. ;P
(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-10 10:55 pm (UTC)Since one word feedback isn't nice I'll elaborate. First you get me all excited about Orlando/Karl written by you. Then you pull a fast one and insert Sala. Then you just stop.
Again I say, TEASE!
(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-11 12:59 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-12 12:18 am (UTC)bunny tease
(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-16 04:07 pm (UTC)This has seriously affected my mental equilibrium, a way that has caused a very large smile. Thank you!
Also, OMG Sala and Orlando. /gratuitous
(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-16 04:10 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-16 04:22 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-19 04:05 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-21 11:17 pm (UTC)We'll see. I can't promise anything.
*hands you a shiny new Coke to make up for it*
Re:
Date: 2004-02-21 11:19 pm (UTC)On the other hand, it *is* Orli/Sala & my God, the hawt *fans self*
I'll...um...do what I can.
*mwah*
Re:
Date: 2004-02-21 11:26 pm (UTC)No promises.
Re:
Date: 2004-02-21 11:27 pm (UTC)But, mmmm... Sala/Orli... *dies of the guh*
Re:
Date: 2004-02-21 11:29 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-21 11:29 pm (UTC)Thanks!!!! I really must think more about this Sala/Orli angle. *ponders*
Re:
Date: 2004-02-21 11:30 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-21 11:31 pm (UTC)*bounces*
Re:
Date: 2004-02-21 11:32 pm (UTC)Now, who says it's going to be Sala fucking Orlando? ;)
Re:
Date: 2004-02-21 11:35 pm (UTC)Um, does it help to tell you that *whispers* I'm writing the sequel. Dunno that you're gonna like it, since it's, um, well, it's...well. Let's just say it's all in Sala's POV & his brain is a scary place. *nods*
You know I could never deny you the h0tt. *hors it up jess 4 U!!!
Re:
Date: 2004-02-21 11:37 pm (UTC)*grins*
Re:
Date: 2004-02-21 11:38 pm (UTC)*ponders*
Re:
Date: 2004-02-21 11:39 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-21 11:40 pm (UTC)Thank you for being you, love.
Re:
Date: 2004-02-21 11:40 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-21 11:41 pm (UTC):)
Re:
Date: 2004-02-21 11:42 pm (UTC)*grins*
Re:
Date: 2004-02-22 11:03 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-22 07:18 pm (UTC)!!!!
(Sequel?! And there will be squirming?!)
Hehehe, that's something one says to "special" people, huh.
Re:
Date: 2004-02-25 09:16 am (UTC)*grins*
(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-07 02:27 pm (UTC)Angie, dashing off to read the next chunk
(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-07 07:04 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-10 03:13 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-10 11:46 pm (UTC)